The other day I was thinking about this girl I know. Her mind is absolutely beautiful. A mind that inhabited all the traces of being open, inquisitive and completely extravagant. The kind of mind-state you get when a really good song you like starts playing, and you – on par with the surrounding darkness, the high of the moment in a mist of absolute dancing satisfaction.
But then again, you find lesser interesting minds.
My best friend, a white Norwegian, joined me to the island of my ancestors (some of them), when I was about 19. We had a great time; however one incident shocked him quite badly: We were in a small town where people rarely see tourists and a group of drunken youngsters came up to us and started yelling 'white pig' to him in their local language. He understood the meaning of the word, because I had called him that some times just for jokes. However, the incident made him sad the whole day afterwards, and I was utterly ashamed over the ridiculous behaviour that the locals expressed.
Oh, dear. Oh, dear.
During my stay in Cape Town, I experienced something interesting related to this subject. After a month in the beautiful country, I roamed the streets of Sea Point for a barber where I could cut my hair. I found a place that looked like a barber shop and went in. To my surprise, everyone stared at me in a silly way, and when I asked if they could cut my hair, they said: "Sorry we only cut black people's hair". I was perplexed and tripped back to my apartment with a crushed self esteem. For fuck sake, does my skin colour make that of a difference, I thought to myself.
Narrow minded at the barber shop? Yes of course. Ok, then lets roll from barber shops to physical attraction.
"Are you attracted to her? But she is so pale". A relative back in Sri Lanka on Norwegian girls. He continues with: "I think white girls can be cute, but never sexy. I never think I could sleep with any of them". What a fucking moron, I thought. You are missing out on a lot. Yes, indeed he was (!). Closed minded - or just inclined to society standards? It is easy to be prone to what others around you like, and it is challenging to have individual views in a homogenous society. Why do you think Pakistanis usually marry Pakistanis and Norwegians usually marry Norwegians?
Because it is the easiest thing to do.
I do understand you, you weak shit. I have a really good Colombian friend; she is cosmopolitan, beautiful, educated and has an Indian boyfriend. However when we were discussing skincolours and attractiveness, and she said she didn't find Asian men attractive. However she thought black men were quite sexy. She couldn’t exactly tell why she didn’t have an attraction towards Asian men. It wasn't racist at all, just her views. I asked if she had been travelling to Asian countries, and she said that she hadn’t. Colombia is a very diverse country, you find all kinds of skin colours – but you find very few Asian men.
As products of our surroundings my Colombian friend was no exception (for the love of herself I hope she finds a Chinese husband).
I would say that that includes me as well, to a certain degree. Travelling Indonesia and Malaysia made me quite inclined towards Asian girls. They are stunning. Long legs, and perfect skin. In Africa it was the black girls. They are perfect. In Scandinavia the blonde ones, in Italy and France, the brunettes, and in India and Sri Lanka, oh the brown skinned ones. Not to mention Arab girls, and Persians (oh my god!). However it was different for me in London: The melting pot created another approach to attractiveness. At the LSE library my jaw would drop seeing all those exceptionally beautiful Italian girls, and in the dark alleys of Brick lane I would loose my breath over the extraordinary hot British girls, in Brixton it was the black girls and Piccadilly the stunning Indian girls and so on and so on. But when in a rather homogenous country I have a tendency to be attracted the dominant part.
Some girls are actually prettier in London.
We do act in a certain way to please our surroundings and to confirm our own identity. The drunken youngers yelling racist remarks to my friend made a quite clear statement on who they were, and what kind of identity they had. It is easier to be a slave of the masses, than thinking for yourself. Then only mental freedom can utilize a mind without prejudicsm and preferences - like the girl I know, with the beautiful mind. So freedom comes into being only when we understand, not intellectually but actually, our every day life, our activity, our way of thought, the fact of our brutality, our callousness and indifference; it is to be actually in contact with our colossal selfishness.
What the fuck am I trying to say?
Well, put it another way: A successful Saudi businessman once said to me: "I'll tell you one thing, son. In business, you really give a damn about the other person (business counterpart). You don't care if the person is brown, black, white, christian, jew, muslim or whatever. The only thing you care about is to make a profit so you can provide for your children and travel to St. Tropez in the summers." He understand that his needs, as a individual, either it be sex, money or status – comes before anything else on this earth. Because in the end: History, life and being is all about you.
I must admit that I am in contact with my colossal selfishness (With some exceptions of course. I also have moments of ignorance). Why? Because I really don't care who you are, where you are from or what you do. As long as you are interesting, I like you.